(Skipping the myriad of excuses for why I haven't blogged in almost 3 months...)

Tonight I find myself sitting on my couch, in my sweats, trying desperately to breathe through my nose, coughing my head off, watching the new Charlie's Angels for the first time. Make that the last time.

Seriously? Do they have to ruin everything? Leave the Angels alone, for cryin' out loud. Do we have no creative people in Hollywood anymore? What, you couldn't think of a fresh take on vampires? No more 90210/Gossip Girl/One Tree Hill/ Dawson's Creek type ideas? How about another CSI/Law & Order spin-off?

Help a sick girl out, people. Come up with some good tv to distract me from the misery of what my doc says is yet another upper respiratory infection, but what I am almost certain is some form of urban malaria. All of these overly-tanned, overly-sculpted, overly-quaffed people superimposed on overly-synthesized music only makes me want to drug myself into a cough syrup coma. (And I seriously think I may have already taken too much because I looked up at the screen and one of the Angels had a dreadlock wig on as a disguise. Freaked. Me. Out.)

Thank God for cable channels. At least there I can escape to Jamaica with Anthony Bourdain or chase gators with the Swamp People. Forget the Angels in a speed boat; I'll take Troy on the Bayou any day of the week. Maybe the "tree shakers" and "tree breakers" will manage to clear my sinuses.

God I love the History Channel!