In an effort to get back in the workout habit, my friend JF and I decided we would take advantage of one of the perks of working in a building with 3 gyms and every make and model of treadmill, elliptical, and stationary bike. After school, we changed into exercise gear and went up to the mezzanine-- an open area above one of the practice gyms where said equipment is set up-- for our first afternoon workout. Imagine our surprise when we realized the cheerleading squad was using the mezzanine for their competition practice.

Panting while pedaling is bad enough, but panting while pedaling in front of 20 tall skinny teenage girls...girls with about 2 ounces of fat on their collective, well, an ego blow to say the least. It also didn't help that while I was huffing and puffing, they were flip-flopping across the entire mezzanine floor.

Of course, I think I have figured out the where they get all that energy. First, it's their music. I've decided that much of the motion we would attribute to them is really just their super-lightweight bodies falling victim to the loud bass in their music. Everything in the entire gym was vibrating, and without any fat to help anchor them to the floor, it's inevitable they'd just be bouncing around everywhere.

And then there's all that hair. Now, unlike some schools, our squad is not full of the stereotypical blond girls. No, sirree. Don't get me wrong. We have our share of blonds, but we also have at least 50% brunettes. Regardless of hair color, though, they all have long hair. Long hair that they wear up in long ponytails. Ponytails that they whip around when they do their handsprings. Ponytails + handsprings = momentum. Momentum turns one handspring into multiple flip-flops and a full back layout with a full twist.

So all I have to do is grow my hair out about another foot (or save up and get extensions) and buy a suped up sound system and I'll be set. Because those tiny bodies? They are the result of resistance training really. Those girls aren't really moving around that much. They're really just trying to stay still. Imagine all the calories they must burn fighting the forces of physics acting on them.

Poor little things. It's sad really. I bet inside those little long-haired heads of theirs, they really wish they could be more like the rest of us: sturdy, stable, and capable of lying still for hours on end.