Sitting on the couch with Winged Monkey, dueling computers, The Patriot on the TV. A few minutes ago, Mel rode across the screen carrying a tattered American flag. Now? Now he's melting down the last of his sons' toy soldiers to make the bullet with which he will kill his nemesis.

WM and I have enjoyed another lazy Sunday afternoon, and after having watched several episodes of Criminal Minds and Law & Order SVU that Truman had recorded earlier in the week, we decided to take a break from all the serial killers so we could watch with incredulity as the British and Continental armies line up to fire at each other. And we both have the same question.

What genius thought up this tactic? I mean, seriously, people. There is honor and then there is stupidity, and if you ask me, the whole "let's march out into an open field...line up 30 yards apart...and fire at each other?" Well, I don't see much honor in mass suicide.

So, I guess I respect Mel's decision to go all guerrilla and hide out in the swamps and use trickery to win his battles. And how could he lose, what with all the American flags waving in slow motion all around him and his men? After all, what Australian actor worth his salt wouldn't rally his fictional troops at the site of the good ol' Star & Stripes? And he's got to win the war so he can make it home to his new wife...who happens to be his sister-in-law.

The more I watch this drivel, the more I understand the popularity of reality television. With writing this bad in Hollywood still producing a blockbuster, I'm not sure the absence of writing would really be noticed.

Thank goodness for my Kindle. 60 seconds to something smart and funny... completely without the melodramatic soundtrack.