This evening,the Winged Monkey and I went to see Law Abiding Citizen with WM's friend, D. D knows about my crush on Gerard Butler, so he had no problems with my drooling over Gerard's ass shot or giggling like a school girl over the ab shot that followed. (Oh, those abs.)

Other than the token skin shots, the movie itself was rather unremarkable. A bit gory in parts, a bit slow in others, occasionally surprising, annoyingly aphoristic. The crowd in the theater was far more entertaining.

First there was the transvestite-wanna-be I saw as we were walking into the theater. His bleach blond pixie haircut actually came strutting out of the women's restroom carrying a black patent leather tote bag. The problem was he is still very obviously male, so at first I thought maybe he had just robbed someone.

Then there was a little old man in a baby blue sport coat outside the men's restroom. He'd was a victim of the bowing over process that begins around age 65, and by the looks of him, he'd lost that fight years ago. He looked like he was permanently bowing his head to say grace, the bald spot in the center of his head reflecting the overhead lights straight into the eyes of innocent passersby.

Finally, there was Ugg Girl and her Calf Boot Friend. These two young ladies could not have been more than 16, and yet, they were doing their best to resemble two 28-year-old Canadian street walkers. I especially liked the fur-lined boots paired with the denim Daisy Duke shorts and white t-shirt. Because, lord knows the boots are gonna keep your ass warm.

I don't think I will ever understand that kind of fashion choice. Call me crazy, but I like to pick a season and stick with it throughout the entire ensemble. And aren't Uggs over yet? I though we were done with that already? I wanted to tell her: "You're not skiing. You're not surfing. You're not an Eskimo. What's up with the furry footwear?"

Instead, I laughed as D ogled their derrieres. And I wasn't the least bit offended. Anyone dressed like that is begging to be looked at, almost as certainly as they are asking to catch a cold. ;)