Never in my life did I think a pair of D cups would inhibit my work.

A) My boobs are nowhere near that size.
B) I work in public education, so I could never afford a boob job.
C) A new set was not among the birthday presents I received earlier this week.
D) I'm pretty much against implants in non-reconstructive circumstances.
E) I work in computers. In schools. Really, the only computer-big boob correlation I can think of is the pornographic kind, and I'm fairly certain most of those women aren't visiting high schools.

Well, except one mom.
And she wasn't in a porn so much as she's been charged with prostitution.
Charged, but not convicted.
And she says she's running a massage business.
So, yeah, how'd you like to be that mom's kid this week when she showed up on campus to volunteer? (And, yes, "volunteer to do what?" jokes abound.)

Anyway, they weren't her implants that were in my way Thursday. These implants belonged to a man. A plastic surgeon, actually, who was a guest speaker at school and who thought the kids would enjoy feeling some fake boobs. Well, duh!

So, yeah, I actually got to utter the sentence, "Excuse me sir, would you mind holding your implants for a moment while I hook up your computer?"

There are some days that my job is fairly entertaining.