Dear Senate-

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for voting to continue the Cash for Clunkers program. Because of your foresight and generosity, I am finally able to trade in my 11 year old Jeep Cherokee with its combined mileage rating of 16 MPG for an adorable little MINI Cooper that gets a combined 27 MPG. In addition, I will now be making a monthly car payment, something I haven't done in 6 years, and while that will be somewhat annoying, at least I can take comfort in the fact that I'm once again doing my part in our screwed up, debt-driven economy. Besides, if my money can't earn anything in any of our banks, I might as well be using it to finance my cute little chili red Cooper S, complete with sunroof and white bonnet stripes.

I know that your main aim was to throw me and 749,999 other hard-working Americans back into debt to help bail out the failing auto industry, but at least my giving in to the consumerist culture so ingrained in my being will have the pleasant side effect of cleaning up a small percentage of the greenhouse gases said mindset has caused to be spewed into the atmosphere over the past 100 years. According to CNN Money, the "good for the environment" angle used to help sell the bill to begin with actual has some merit, as the average program trade-in results in a 61% increase in fuel economy.

Perhaps you guys aren't quite as full of shit as most of we lay folk think you are.

Your (soon to be) MINI-driving Daisy