**Possibly a spoiler for those who watch 24, but only in the first sentence.**

Jack Bauer is dying from exposure to a deadly neurotoxin, and he is still able to take out two mad scientist types, run willy-nilly through the streets, shimmy under a garage door, and try to kill himself by lighting a flare while sitting in a pool of gasoline in order to keep his infected organs from being harvested and used to replicate the pathogen. And here I sit, on my comfy couch, annoyed because my back and shoulder are sore after my 30 minute physical therapy session, which really amounted to little more than an acupressure treatment.

There can be no doubt, folks: Daisy is a delicate flower.

Seriously, I get tired just watching this show. It's so freakin' stressful, what with the running and the diving and the shooting and the blowing things up. And then the "endcaps" on each segment, counting down those four seconds in that shrill I-could-be-a-timer-on-a-bomb kind of way. I get tense just thinking about it. Do they have to do that at every break? Coming and going? Really? That's just flat out manipulative, people. I tell you: they are messing with our heads.

You almost have to pause the Tivo and pull up an old episode of Bob Ross just to reground yourself.
"Happy little trees."

Sigh. See? I feel more relaxed already. Feel the tension just melt away. I mean, what's the worst that could happen with Bob? He doesn't have weapons of mass destruction hidden in that 'fro. I promise. There is nothing but sunshine and happiness and reflections by a lake when you're with Bob.

I bet Bob would make a great CTU operative. Set up his easle in the interrogation room, ask the suspects to "paint him a picture". They'd probably lean back and just start spilling their guts by the third brushstroke. "Really, I think you should use some more magenta for the blood, Bob. Don't be afraid of the bold colors sometimes. Really get some color in that brush. And the canisters? A little less metallic looking. They're a matte finish, really. Maybe try a little more of that titanium white."

And, no, I haven't been drinking...