This is your brain on drugs...

Mime One (aka redheadedali) provided much entertainment this morning when I visited her blog to find this video.

I was laughing so hard the woman's annoying voice didn't even bother me that much.

There is a reason the 80s are iconic. The level of pretension has yet to be reached again.


Posted at 7:48 AM
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Randoms

My book club met last Friday to discuss Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson. The whole book is about two teenage girls with eating disorders, and while the writing was both technically and lyrically beautiful, parts of it were graphic enough to make a reader lose her appetite. Not a good thing for someone who regularly hears the phrases: "Girl, you're gonna waste away to nothing." and "You need to eat more."

Fortunately, the effects are fading, and I was able to thoroughly enjoy my pancake brunch yesterday...even if it put me in a carb comma for part of the afternoon. You would think a coma like that would relax a Daisy, but apparently it was not enough to relax the knots in my back...which my Physical Therapist (or Pain Technologist, if you prefer) was able to quickly find and mash on enough so that I am still sore this morning. Thank goodness there is only one more day of torture before my European Extravaganza (for which I have yet to pack a single item).

On the relationship front: the roller coaster continues, but I least I have an amazing WM in the seat next to me. After helping with the laundry this weekend, I do find it rather amusing that someone who owns pair of bright red flannel boxers with large husky dogs on them feels he has a right to critique various items in my wardrobe. Do men ever throw out any old clothes on their own?

On the agenda for today:
1) Sit in my office and answer the same questions over and over again.
2) Spend my lunch hour finally taking care of my cell phone ticket.
3) Spend half an hour getting tortured by a sprightly Pain Technologist.
4) Dinner with the parents.
5) Pre-trip shopping errands.
6) More laundry. :(

2 days until summer.
There is a reason I am willing to work for peanuts. :)


Posted at 6:38 AM
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5,4,3,2....

I have 5 days left of work, and even that seems like way too much. I wake up and fight the urge to call in sick, and then I go spend a miserable day in a building that no one can seem to get the thermostat right in: my office is freezing, the hallway right outside is muggy, etc., etc. Everyone there has already pretty much mentally checked out; that or they are giant cranky SOBs.

And now I'm in the middle of Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson, and I would much prefer staying home and finishing it because a) the writing is phenomenal and b) I'm completely caught up in the main character's head. May have to take Kipling (my Kindle) with me and read while I'm waiting on people to come check in their equipment. I can always tell my boss I'm experimenting since there's so much talk lately about Kindle's replacing textbooks. Hehe.

Besides, it will be a nice distraction from the asinine emails I've been getting lately:

I write: You must check in your laptops to my office so they may be secured during the summer.
I get a reply 6 minutes later: You mean I don't leave it docked on my desk?

Well, let's think about this. Did I say leave it docked on your desk? No. Can you physically leave it docked on your desk and still check it in to my office? No. Is it secure docked on your desk? No.

5 days. Just 5 more days.


Posted at 6:22 AM
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Ever heard of the idea of convergence?

Last night, one of my co-workers called to invite my out for a night of wings & trivia which, other than the really weak drinks, turned out to be rather enjoyable (except for the Big Lebowski round, which I suck at because both times I have tried to watch that movie I have fallen fast asleep in the first 10 minutes). I learned that I know way too much about nursery rhymes and TV theme songs (I got Barney Miller, for goodness sake), and that even the science teachers can't agree on the state of the periodic table.

One of the rounds was identifying movie quotes, and while I could not distinguish one James Bond film from another, I did get the quote from Edward Scissorhands, which completely baffled my teammates. Little did they know that I have a special fondness for Edward Scissorhands because a) I love quirky movies like that and b) it always reminds me of poetry by Yeats, who happens to be my one of my favorite poets (forced rhymes be damned!). You see, back in high school, I was given a poetry explication assignment, and I chose Yeats' "When You Are Old", and I used the closing scene from Edward Scissorhands as my visual because, well, it fits the poem so perfectly it's kinda freaky actually. (I mean, the old Winona Rider character is literally "nodding by the fire" reminiscing about a past love. Perfect!)

That was one of the moments that I think made me become a teacher, and years later, on my first day in my first classroom, Mime 2 sent me a gift and a note saying she knew I would be a teacher when I gave that presentation in our English class that day. (See why we love Mime 2?) Seeing Mime 2 last week had made me think of that poem again, so I think last nights choice of question was pretty interesting.

Mucking up the cosmic waters a little more is the fact that after a bit of a bumpy weekend on the relationship front, I have been unable to get a line from another of Yeats' poems out of my head.

"Tread softly because you tread on my dreams."


I always thought this was good advice on how to handle another person's heart. Too often I think we forget how fragile each of us truly is, and we forget that along with the laughter and the butterflies and the frustrations and the confusion of a relationship, there is, at bottom, also a responsibility to one another, because when someone is brave enough to give you part of their heart, you must be vigilant enough to protect it. Otherwise, you are undeserving of such a precious gift.

He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven

Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

-William Butler Yeats

Here's to hoping everyone finds someone deserving of their dreams.



Posted at 9:33 AM
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The Spectrum

**Possibly a spoiler for those who watch 24, but only in the first sentence.**

Jack Bauer is dying from exposure to a deadly neurotoxin, and he is still able to take out two mad scientist types, run willy-nilly through the streets, shimmy under a garage door, and try to kill himself by lighting a flare while sitting in a pool of gasoline in order to keep his infected organs from being harvested and used to replicate the pathogen. And here I sit, on my comfy couch, annoyed because my back and shoulder are sore after my 30 minute physical therapy session, which really amounted to little more than an acupressure treatment.

There can be no doubt, folks: Daisy is a delicate flower.

Seriously, I get tired just watching this show. It's so freakin' stressful, what with the running and the diving and the shooting and the blowing things up. And then the "endcaps" on each segment, counting down those four seconds in that shrill I-could-be-a-timer-on-a-bomb kind of way. I get tense just thinking about it. Do they have to do that at every break? Coming and going? Really? That's just flat out manipulative, people. I tell you: they are messing with our heads.

You almost have to pause the Tivo and pull up an old episode of Bob Ross just to reground yourself.
"Happy little trees."

Sigh. See? I feel more relaxed already. Feel the tension just melt away. I mean, what's the worst that could happen with Bob? He doesn't have weapons of mass destruction hidden in that 'fro. I promise. There is nothing but sunshine and happiness and reflections by a lake when you're with Bob.

I bet Bob would make a great CTU operative. Set up his easle in the interrogation room, ask the suspects to "paint him a picture". They'd probably lean back and just start spilling their guts by the third brushstroke. "Really, I think you should use some more magenta for the blood, Bob. Don't be afraid of the bold colors sometimes. Really get some color in that brush. And the canisters? A little less metallic looking. They're a matte finish, really. Maybe try a little more of that titanium white."

And, no, I haven't been drinking...


Posted at 9:43 PM
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Sorry, officer, I was just singing...

May 13th happens to be the birthday of both my mother and one of my best friends, so it is usually a day filled with frosting-covered festivities.

I tried to kick off yesterday's events by calling the birthday girls and singing a rousing, off-key rendition of Happy Birthday on my way to a meeting at work. Living a mere 50 yards from the building in which I usually spend my work day, I'm kind of out of the habit of having to drive anywhere that early in the morning, but yesterday's meeting was on another campus, so at 7:30 I was in my car, headed down the road, singing with great gusto...when the policeman flashed his lights and pulled me over.

That's when I realized that I was on my phone in a school zone, which was made a huge no-no last year. A $75 no-no.

To make matters worse, though, my car was out of inspection, a fact that the nice officer informed me of as I looked for my proof of insurance...which he promptly told me was also out of date.

What else could I do but laugh and bang my forehead on the steering wheel? It wasn't even 8am for crying out loud!

Now, I am really not that irresponsible. I have current insurance, but the policy renewed this month, and I forgot all about getting the new card out of the giant, paper-wasting packet they set me two weeks before, an oversight I promptly rectified as soon as I got home.

And the inspection? Well, I had noticed it a week or so back, and it is on my to-do list, but not driving everyday just kind of makes you keep moving it down the list. Guess I will take care of that one today in the hopes that it, too, can be dismissed for a mere $10 fee.

This has been the year of the ticket for Daisy. This makes 3 in the past 6 months (none of them for speeding), after going 12 years without one. To add insult to injury, I've gotten all of them since moving into my new rental last summer, which is right across the street from work, so I drive about a tenth what I was used to driving in all the years previous. Apparently, I need constant practice, or my driving abilities completely atrophy...along with my bank account.


Posted at 6:51 AM
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Male Bonding

Anyone who knows Daisy knows that she has a very special relationship with her Tivo, known affectionately as Truman. I am not exaggerating when I say that Truman is the most dependable man in my life: he is always thinking of me, he's available every Friday night, he is always entertaining, and I don't feel self-conscious hanging out with him when I haven't shaved my legs. Seriously. What more could girl ask for?

But now I'm beginning to suspect that Truman may be cheating on me.

When the WM first starting hanging out at my place, he wasn't sure he liked my TV setup. My current TV is a loaner from my parents, and it's an off brand that won't sync with Truman's remote, so the power and volume require a second remote. Then there was the Tivo learning curve: the Tivo button, the guide, and the ever-important fast forward. WM complained the channel changing was slow, he mocked Truman's noises, and he struggled with the timing when fast forwarding. Usually he would hand me the remote and let me do the driving.

A few weeks later, WM discovered the big yellow pause button, and his attitude toward Truman began to change. A 45 minute episode of Grey's Anatomy, now takes 2 1/2 hours to get through because WM likes to pause and deliver commentary (usually just to get a reaction out of me, which I hate to admit, usually makes watching the show more fun, unless I'm sleepy, and then it makes me crazy, which WM thinks is very amusing) or pause to tell me a story (WM has lots of stories) he was just reminded of by something one of the character's said. WM was definitely warming to Truman.

Then, one rainy day, WM spent the afternoon with Truman, and apparently they bonded. The next thing I know, I come home to discover 6 episodes of Shadow Force in the Now Playing list.

And last night? WM ran the remote, and even my two glasses of wine didn't keep me from noticing how he deftly skipped over the commercial breaks and hit play exactly when the show came back on 3 out of 4 times.

As long as Truman continues not to miss an episode of my shows, I guess I can share his attentions. But the minute 1000 Ways to Die preempts an episode of Bones...well, let's hope that just doesn't happen.


Posted at 10:31 AM
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Things I learned last night...

1) Posting when you are really tired results in all kinds of fun and annoying typos that you have to fix the next morning, and which you hope no one had read yet.

2) Even people involved in charity work have to sometimes make light of the seriousness of their profession. Mime 2 works for a well-known, well-respected non-profit organization that does amazing amounts of good in this messed up world. At dinner last night she was talking about a co-worker who is in charge of helping lifetime prostitutes better themselves. Said co-worker apparently summarizes her job by saying "I help the hos." (Or would it be hoes? Either way, I almost spit out my chips & salsa laughing.)

3) Facebook can suck your life away if you spend too much time on there friending people from high school who you really don't remember. It is probably to her benefit then that Mime 2 originally (and I am paraphrasing a bit here) didn't understand exactly what Facebook was or how it worked, and her first friend was a colleague who happened to be gay and worked at a country/western club on the weekends, so his wall was filled with posts about gay cowboys, so she originally thought Facebook was where you went to meet gay cowboys, "Like you sign up and here's your gay cowboy."

4) Mime 2 should blog more because she is hilarious.

5) Christmas gifts given/received 5 months late are just as cool, if not better, than those given on time. I think it's something to do with the unexpectedness of them. And who doesn't like Christmas wrapping?

6) Males may be physically bigger and stronger, but their egos are much more fragile than females'. Some males are actually aware of this fact, but that does not make them any less susceptible to ego-bruising. Handle them with care ladies. I don't care how good they kiss or how much money they make or how many pounds they can bench press, they are all 17 years old (if that) inside, and they get scared and hurt just as often as the girls do...they just think they aren't supposed to. ;)

7) Cookies at midnight are ALWAYS a good idea.

Happy Friday, people!


Posted at 6:34 AM
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Haze

My forecast add-on for Firefox describes the current weather conditions as "Haze".

If I were to create an add-on for Firefox, I would call it Mood Ring, and it would take your emotional temperature and then direct you to sites appropriate for that mindset. And right now? My emotional state would register as Haze.

Went to dinner with the Mimes tonight. (Long story behind the whole Mime thing, but needless to say, we are a non-traditional group of mimes, in that we tend to talk for hours. Most of us are on the pale side, but that's pretty much where the similarity to your traditional "trapped in a box" mimes ends.) This was our first Mime Meeting since Christmas, and Mime 2 asked me why I hadn't updated the blog in over a week: "I was beginning to think I should call because you might be dead or something."

No, not dead, just in a haze I think, running on auto-pilot. Auto-pilot Daisy is not witty or funny or even mildly interesting. Auto-pilot Daisy reads 5 pages in her book and falls asleep on the couch a 7:00 on a Wednesday night. 7:00pm bedtimes do not a good post make.

Nor does post-midnight, post-cookie-high introspection.

But rest assured, Mime 2, I am alive and relatively well, and after I've had some sleep...there will be posting. Ridiculous amounts of posting. More posting than you can shake a stick at. (Whatever that means, since I'm not sure about the origin of particular colloquialism. Why a stick? And what is the shaking supposed to actually do? Will it chase the posts away, or just scare them into submission? And if the stick doesn't work, will the posts end up going to hell in a handbasket? Because that one confuses me too.)

Anyway, keep your eyes peeled. There are posts on the horizon.


Posted at 11:55 PM

Daisy's Tweets

My Momma Taught Me To Share

Tag, you're it!