Yesterday, on my way home from my visit to the doc (and, no, the pleural malaria is really no better today, but thank you for your concern and your pity as I continue the painful necessity known as breathing), I decided to pass through the Krispy Kreme drive-thru and buy myself some "get well" donuts. I had actually been craving the super sugary treats since Monday, but when the Winged Monkey and I tried to pick some up for me that night, we missed the closing time by 10 minutes, and I had to go home disappointed. Anyway, the doc and the pharmacist had both told me to take my medicine with food, and Krispy Kremes are sorta like food...only better.

The thing about Krispy Kremes is that they really can't be eaten cold. If allowed to drop to room temperature, chemical reactions take place the transform the normally perfectly sweet and delightfully warm glaze into a hardened shell of nausea/cavity inducing saccharine substitute. To avoid such a tragedy, Krispy Kremes must be bought in small quantities so that they can be eaten within minutes of being boxed straight off the conveyor belt, or reheated in the microwave within the first 24 hours, after which, the hardening process is impossible to reverse with a normal kitchen microwave. Perhaps the government has some secret Krispy Kreme Restoration Apparatus (a KKRA, if you will) in development at Area 51 or something, but I'm not privy to that information, so I have to work with what's available to the general public.

That is why I only ordered half a dozen donuts: 2 to eat in the car on the way home, 2 to eat as my after dinner treat that night, and the last 2 for breakfast this morning. $5.34. Wait. $5.34 for 6 donuts? But a dozen is only $5.99. How does that math add up? The cashier even asked me if I was sure that I didn't want an entire dozen for $.65 more.

Now, I don't need a dozen donuts. I only need 6 donuts, and I told the man as much. But suddenly, I felt wasteful for not buying a full dozen, and that feeling really hindered my full enjoyment of the first two of my six now overpriced donuts. And then?

Then I started thinking that I should go into the donut business because the markup on those little round disks of doughy goodness has got to be, like, 300% or something if they can afford to give me an extra 6 donuts for $.65 more. It's almost as bad as popcorn at the movie theater: $.20 in supplies = $5.50 in sales.

So now I feel like I was economically irresponsible AND victimized at the same time. Forget the guilt over the calories and the fat content and such. We are in a recession, folks, and I got taken by the donut people!

I'd feel really guilty if I weren't still intoxicated by the smell of those last two donuts. ;) Weak. So weak...