O.K., fine: ice day, but really the details are not as important as the fact that I get to stay in my pajamas all day because the city officials have said that the roads are in "treacherous" condition.

Who am I to argue with local government officials?

So, I got the call at 5:20 this morning: my boss waking me up to tell me to go back to bed and enjoy my day off. The irony is not lost on me, but I was so excited, I hopped out of bed and made pancakes that I ate just as soon as I hopped back into bed. (Do you have any idea how cold 21 degrees is in a drafty old house?)

Unfortunately, breakfast was somewhat marred by the fact that, as mentioned yesterday, we Texans are not really used to this kind of weather, so our local news tends to err on the side of overkill during these rare moments of meteorological extremes.

The weather people have taken over the network. Seriously.

My planned morning with Matt and Al and Ann (we won't talk about Meredith because she annoys me to no end, and I merely tolerate her to get to see everyone else on the Today Show) has been usurped by the endless cycle of traffic reports, weather reports, and idiot-cub-reporters-standing-by-the-side-of-frozen-roads-as-crazy-drivers-spin-out-of-control reports. Since 5:30 this morning it has been a monotonous repetition:

"It's cold out there."
Yes, it is. That would explain all the ice that resulted in my day off.

"There's ice on the overpasses."
That's why we are all staying home, but thanks again for the warning.

"Sand trucks are out."
Yes, I know: you've told us that a few times already. Please do not do another phone interview with the nice gentleman in charge of the city's sand trucks. I am sure he is very busy dealing with the ice on the overpasses, and I prefer not to imagine him talking on his cell phone to you (again) as he tries to drive across one.

"Drive slow."
Again, thank you for those words of caution, but as I've already mentioned, I was really planning on staying home today, at least until the sun melts everything around 3:00 this afternoon (as you have pointed out to us at least 2 dozen times this past hour), so really, why don't you take a coffee break or something, as I am sure your throat is a bit parched, what with all the talking you keep doing at times when you are not supposed to be on TV.

I got it the first 50 times people, and guess what? Nothing has changed! Can you please release my favorite TV morning personalities from the "Ice Storm" strangle hold and update us, like, every 30 minutes or something?

I am beginning to think this is actually the newscasters' way of getting even with those of us lucky enough to have jobs that did not require us to get out of bed at 4:00am and drive to work on said "treacherous" roads. Maybe they are disgruntled because the donut delivery guy couldn't make it in today. I bet he lives in one of those vague "outlying areas" they are always talking about: that no man's land where sand trucks don't go and people stockpile bottled water and beef jerky just in case of freak weather occurrences like this one.

For the love of God, someone get these news folks a Krispy Kreme so we can go back to our regularly scheduled programming!