Anyone ever seen the movie Swingers? Remember this scene:

Well, in a momentary weakness I sent a text last night. Then, at 3:30 this morning, I had to send an email because IN MY SLEEP I thought of about 40 different ways the text could have been misinterpreted, so I had to explain myself:

I meant to say "I keep wondering". I was not ordering you to "Keep wondering". I am not a conceited bitch who presumes that you are kept awake at night thinking about me.
I'm paraphrasing...sort of. I cannot quote directly because I am just too mortified, but the above recreation should be enough to convince you that my embarrassment is completely legit.

There is no question in my mind right now as to why I am currently single. Seriously. Cute, smart boys are like my own personal kryptonite. They take a normally confident, intelligent, independent woman and turn her into an incoherent, needy, bumbling idiot.

From now on, I am only to hang around with ugly, smart boys or good-looking idiots. No more of these melts-you-insides-and-restores-your-faith-in-the-human-race types. No good can come from those. Only pain. Pain and "humiliations galore".

P.S. Today definitely not drama free. 10 out of 12. Not too bad.